Pixel Boyfriends.

I play a lot of video games. And (luckily) Lindsay doesn't mind watching. In very rare cases, she enjoys watching more than I enjoy playing. Usually that happens when she falls in love with one of the game's characters.

I rounded up four of her all-time major crushes. These are four that, even to this day, she will still smile uncontrollably when you mention their names...


the four boner brothers.


Otacon, from the Metal Gear Solid series (specifically, Metal Gear Solid 4). He's a socially awkward otaku (duh), he falls for dog-loving terrorist snipers and he cries. A lot. Oh, and he's been known to soil his pants at the drop of a hat.


Garrus Vakarian, from the Mass Effect series (specifically Mass Effect 2). Garrus didn't make too much of an impression in the first Mass Effect, but Lindsay knew straight away that Commander Baby Jiff Shepard would be choosing Garrus for some booty-knockin' action in Mass Effect 2. He might be a bad-ass with a sniper rifle, but he's pretty awkward when it comes to the (human) female form. Plus, he kind of looks like a cat made of rock.


Edgeworth, of the Phoenix Wright series. Although he started off as the bad guy, Edgeworth's pompous attitude and brilliant mind attracted Lindsay right off the bat. Not to mention his penchant for purple and ruffles is pretty irresistible.


Remy, from Street Fighter 3: 3rd Strike. I don't think Lindsay or I really know much about this French brawler with abandonment issues. But he's got sweet style, sweet hair and a really big hands.